


The Package

by PrinceyPru (Princesspruprupoo)



Category: Video Blogging RPF, Who Killed Markiplier? (Web Series), Youtube RPF, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Crack, I Had Nothing Better To Do, I hate myself, Other, Please appreciate this piece of art, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 17:55:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17390960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princesspruprupoo/pseuds/PrinceyPru
Summary: Mark receives a new package. Upon arrival, Damien, the Mayor, decides to help bring it in. What's inside? Well. ;^)





	The Package

Damien groaned as he lifted the heavy-ass box. It was the heaviest damned box he had ever seen. He was starting to wonder what the absolute fuck Mark was thinking when he bought this. He hauled it into the mansion and let it plop ungracefully to the floor. He shouted at least ten words his mother would have probably beat his ass into next Tuesday for as the box landed perfectly upon his precious toes.

Mark, confused by the sudden string of sailor curses that would make Wilford seem like a sane man again, peeped his head out from behind the corner. “You good there?” He asked, His eyes wandered down to the ground, and suddenly he had forgotten all about the shouting. “It’s here!” His eyes lit up and he practically jumped on it.

“Nice to know my well being means that much to you,” Damien said sarcastically as he freed his foot. He was definitely going to have a massive bruise later. Good thing he still had his cane handy. He grabbed it and leaned on it before half limping to the couch and plopping down on it. “Well, by all means, open it up. I’d love to see what’s got you so worked up.”

Within seconds, a small box cutter was in Mark’s hands and ripping through cardboard. After the sound of packing peanuts, bubble wrap, and whatever else was shoved in there to keep things safe, it was finally revealed. Mark’s new dildo collection. He had bought approximately 60 dildos, a few vibrators, and a handful or so of other objects. Carefully, and with the steady movement of a man who knows what he’s doing, Mark picked up one of them and inspected them.

To Damien, it looked almost like a mafioso checking that one of his stereotypical briefcases of money was all there. However, it also looked like Mark was rubbing a fat cock on his face. Taken by surprise, he sputtered out a “Wh-What the fuck?”. Classy. Real classy. It was a wonder that he hadn’t been elected mayor sooner with his smooth words. “Excuse me, but what is THAT?!?”

“Uhh… a dildo… can’t you see?”Mark waved his plastic penis around, managing to slap himself in the face with it before setting it back in the box to inspect another.

“EXCUSE ME, I CAN SEE JUST FINE. DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME I BUSTED MY ASS, AND MY FOOT, JUST FOR… what is that, a whole BOX of dildos?!?” Damien shrieked, his voice breaking much like a prepubescent boy. He could not believe it. This was insane. What the absolute fuck?

“Uhhhh,,, it’s not all dildos. Some of them are vibrators.” Mark said, as if this was the most normal thing in the world. “Plus, I didn’t ask you to bring it in, you just did it yourself. So really, I’m not the one to blame.” His smug face was absolutely begging to be bitchslapped.

Damien groaned once more. He knew Mark was a dumb slut, but he didn’t know he was this much of a dumb slut. “Fuck, whatever, can you just get me an ice pack or something?” He gestured towards his foot with his cane. “And get the Colonel in here. He might as well have a jolly fucking chuckle at the situation.

**Author's Note:**

> I hate myself. Please remember to like, comment, and subscribe. Please. I have a family to feed.


End file.
